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Sunday, September 27th, 2009
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This morning I got up (not so bright and) early to take Chubb to the center city bus station. It wasn't fun saying goodbye but it was so great to see her this weekend! We had a lovely lunch in the gayborhood and then a fabulous afternoon of shopping on south street. After that we spent the rest of the night with my friends here at Temple. It makes me so happy to see everyone meeting each other and getting along so well.
I think with each passing year, I'm learning more and more how unique the relationship Chubb and I have is. I think we're ones of few people that are able to say we've been best friends since childhood. Through every up and down, we've never lost touch or had to patch things up. It means a lot to be able to see her and share what's going on in our lives. I have pictures of her as well as all my other friends from back home on the walls of my room. I like being able to look at them whenever I want and thinking about all the crazy shit we've done in our lives. I am so fortunate to have grown up with the people I have.
Now I'm tying myself down to this computer chair until I've caught up on all this work that I should have done by now. Until next time.
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Saturday, September 12th, 2009
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I haven't written anything here since I've started school, but I'm trying to kill some time before Pam wakes up so I guess now is a good time.
College life is so fabulous. I'm so thankful for every day I spend here. Considering how I'm a freshman on the low end of the food chain, I got super lucky with classes. I do have to get up reasonably early everyday but thats probably a good thing. I love the fact that I get to go to class each day to learn about and discuss things that actually matter. If I don't want to take a class on a subject that I suck at, I don't have to. A world of difference between this and high school. I don't even think they should be put in the same category.
I've met some really great people during the time I've been here and each day I'm always meeting more. I got super lucky with the roommate situation. I've heard some horror stories about people who left it up to the school to find them a roommate and they ended up with a psycho.
I think I might hop the subway into the city today and go to Target for a few things. I also have to think of an idea for a one-minute film. That needs to be shot by tomorrow. Grand.
I love the people and the atmosphere here. I'm so happy that I chose Temple. There's so much to do around campus and in the city. I'm excited for when friends come to visit me so that I can show them around. I should probably start doing something productive now...
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Monday, August 24th, 2009
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So I attempted to throw a "goodbye fest" for all of us that are starting college soon. Not too many people came but I guess it ended up better that way. I love these kids so much. Its nights like this that I'm going to miss the most. I'm going to miss sitting around a fire and talking about really heavy things, like space theory or what makes a marriage and rights of men and women. I'm going to miss Nick's constant inappropriate undressing. I'm going to miss Mike and Pats heated discussions on movies. I'm going to miss how everyone makes fun of Girardi, and how he just takes it. I'm going to miss Brian's strong paternal instinct like when he takes away window privileges and tells everyone to stop crying. I'm going to miss the way Joe talks, and how everyone accepts his unemotional responses to anything and everything. I'm going to miss the way Liana and I talk about music and the bands we love. I'm going to miss Jen's blunt sarcastic responses and outbursts. I'm going to miss the way Corinne always points out the obvious and finds it hilarious. and I'm going to miss how Chubb starts heated debates and doesn't back down until she's made her point.
I know I'm going to meet so many amazing people in college. A lot of them will probably some day become my best friends. Tonight I realized I'm not ready to say goodbye to these friends. We truly are becoming a group of really great adults. I don't want to say goodbye yet. I want us to continue to get together like this and talk about issues, current events. whats going on in our lives, and all the stupid pointless shit too. I wish we could hang out like this regularly forever. and as we grow older, we still get through things together. The reality of it though, is that probably wont happen. we'll get together for the first few years, and it will be like things never changed. but then after that we'll start to grow apart and it will become more of a burden to meet up. I'll probably stay close friends with the girls for longer, but who can really say for sure how long that will last? after we move apart? after we have kids? I am so fortunate to have had these amazing people in my life growing up. I've lived in this one small town my entire life and they're the friends that I've known. For the first time throughout this whole preparing for college thing, for the first time throughout this entire process, this very moment, I am scared to death of them becoming just a memory.
Corinne leaves first thing in the morning and didn't really say goodbye before she left my house. She came back at 1am just so we could briefly say our last goodbyes. We stood awkwardly on my stoop for a bit, talking about how everything is changing. How we really are starting a new chapter in our lives. We finally hugged and I watched from my front door as she drove away. When that car backed out of my driveway and drove off, for the first time, I cried.
I'm so excited for school, and I'm so excited for the rest of my life. I didn't realize how hard it would be to say goodbye. Of course there is the chance that I'm being over dramatic. We will be back for vacations, and there are a good number of people commuting in the area. I look at my parents and their social lives, and it gives me a bit of hope. The friends they have now are ones they've had since they were my age. Some since even before that. Although there are few, I know they're important. They continue to get together at least once every single week, even after all these years.
So maybe we'll be like that. Maybe my friends will stay my friends, and when we graduate and come back home to see our parents, we'll still hang out, and talk like we always have. Except as adults. Or maybe our lives will go in the opposite direction, and we'll lose touch, becoming just a story from high school and people you hear about every now and then. No one can really say at this point. Its just that this is all I've ever know in my small town life, and I can't imagine throwing that all away overnight. I'm deciding right now to avoid that as much as possible. Its really not hard to keep in touch. Just a few emails, a phone call every now and then. I know that these friends mean a lot to me. and I know I'm not ready to lose them just yet.
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Friday, August 14th, 2009
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My life is just full of endless adventure sometimes. Sunday night, amanda and steph drove down the shore and spent a good chunk of the week at my house. We spent just about every day on the beach. it was glorious. except for the fact that the air condition in my house broke and the town is being impossible to get to have it fixed. it rained on their last day here, and we were thankful to have it cool down a bit.
one night we went down to the seaside boardwalk. when looking for parking, we were told that the lots were free after busy hours, so we parked there free of charge. fast forward to us coming back to stephs booted car, amanda and I laughing hysterically, and steph frantically calling the lot owner while telling the two of us we really aren't helping the situation.
the next day we went into wildwood. that boardwalk is so great. much better than seaside in more ways than one. on our way home, we somehow made a wrong turn off the parkway and had to stop at a gas station for directions. apparently it was the wrong question to ask, as the three gas station attendants fought tooth and nail over who knew the better directions.
yesterday morning, steph and amanda left after we went out for breakfast. I hung around and did absolutely nothing until about 8 pm at which point some friends that I met through my rescue riding excursion came for a visit. Koji, ana and mike are on their summer tour and they conveniently had a night off as they were driving through NJ. the other mike also happened to be in the area visiting family so they all crashed at my house.
spending time with them just gets me so excited for life. they are all so successful in the way that success should be defined. doing what they love and looking forward to each day. somewhere along the line living a successful life has come to mean working an 8 hour day on a generous pay roll and buying the finer things in life. if that is what your goal is, and that is what you achieve, great! but thats not how I picture my future.
we went to the seaside boardwalk so Koji (and his new kitten, Taco) could play some acoustic and make some cash. for hitting the boardwalk at 11 pm and playing for 30 minutes, nine dollars in change is pretty good. after driving around aimlessly looking for an open restaurant, we went back to my house and indulged in some chips and salsa with chocolate soy milk. over which we discussed the terrors of sarah palin running this country and improper pronunciation of words. the next morning I came downstairs to my dogs guarding mike on the couch. they growled at anyone who got close to him. it was a little strange, haha.
they had to hit the road at noon so they could make it to delaware by their next show. the rest of my family had already gone back up north because they had other plans. I said goodbye to my friends about an hour ago, leaving me alone in the house with my dogs for the day. I really should take this opportunity to tackle a few projects I absolutely must finish before leaving for school. I'll get to it. later.
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I'm procrastinating so I thought why not post a journal entry. How could I possibly be procrastinating in the summer? I've found a way.
I saw 500 Days of Summer the other day. Wow. It was beautifully done. Wonderfully casted. I couldn't wait to see it because Marc Webb is one of my favorite directors and this was his first full-length film. He is definitely underrated and is going to become hugely popular because of this.
The air-condition isn't working at my house. I think I sweat out about 6 lbs. Someone is coming to fix it tomorrow, fortunately.
The summer is winding down and I'll be leaving for school pretty soon. I find it bittersweet. I really am excited to go. I've already met some pretty great people from my school and I'm exited to meet even more. The bitterness is just saying goodbye to summer in general. I love wasting an entire day from beginning to end doing absolutely nothing other than reading on the beach or going for a run. It's also sad to think how leaving makes it all so final. I feel like once everyone leaves for school, this last chapter of my life will really close and so many people that I met in high school will be nothing more than that.
Last night my sister met up with some old friends that she hasn't spoken to since high school. They caught up on what everyone is doing now and what direction they took in life. Its odd to hear how everyone grew up to do completely different things, leading completely separate lives. (including one producing for ace of cakes, my favorite show! wtf!) But then there are those few that never left pequannock, went nowhere in life, and all they enjoy doing is reliving their "glory days" from high school. I'd like to think that they'll wake up one day and realize they threw their life away at 18 and turn their lives around, but I know exactly who those kids are from my class, and I know 10 years from now they'll be in the exact same place in their lives. I find it really sad actually. Sad that they'll never find something truly fulfilling. They'll spend the rest of their lives just "getting by." Probably with bad jobs, bad marriages, and cranking out kids who are more than likely going to have to same future. Its also unfortunate that the rest of society has to put up with their shit. If you're not going to put any effort whatsoever into your own life or anyone else's, stop sucking up our oxygen and wasting space.
I'm getting off on quite a rant now. I'm so truly happy that I had the friends I did through high school. I could have turned out completely different if it weren't for them and I wont be ready to say goodbye to them for awhile. I hope they stay in my life for years to come.
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Saturday, August 1st, 2009
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money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.
I fucking hate it. Yes, even the penny.
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My poor little car has gotten more mileage in these past few weeks than it has in its life thus far. DC and back. Phili and back. The shore and back. and then today alone, the shore and back. Driving is great to clear my head. Not so great for the environment. When I get a car that I can convert to run on vegetable oil I wont feel so guilty about it.
Phili was fun. If we hadn't made a left into hell, getting there would have been a better time. Haha. But getting lost is how you learn your way around. I really loved the venue. Older venues always have better acoustics, fit people more comfortably, and add aesthetics to the show. Now why, I ask, did we stop building proper concert halls once we hit the 70s? So they can be built to last? So the walls will survive a century of bad weather? So it can double as a nuclear bomb shelter? Bullshit. You can't trade the ambiance of a good show to a shiny new skyscraper. Not in my opinion.
Standing among hundreds of sweaty kids and dying a thirst is miserable, but the looks on their faces remind me of why we all do it. Every show brings me back to my first few concerts. When I finally found a room full of kids with the same interest as me. When I finally found somewhere I belonged in my awkward preteen years. I see it in the face of so many of the kids in the audience. Where for one night everyone can share the same moment. Shows were such an important part of my growing up.
Looks like the endless rain has finally ended. The weather down here at the shore has been beautiful. I avoided the beach this weekend however because I didn't feel like being bombarded with hundreds of thousands of guidos with their screaming children and loud music and frisbees. Happy Fourth of July.
Our cable went out suddenly last night so my mom, sister, and I watched half a season of freaks and geeks on dvd. It was a good time.
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Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
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Just arrived from the shore. Beautiful day. I love the summer days when your biggest decisions are choosing between reading a book or baking cookies.
Got a letter from Frelinghuysen today. Good man. Quite a name. Sean finally posted his lobby day photos. None from when I ambushed him in the airport. Haha.
Going to see Public Enemies today. SO excited! Tomorrow is Phili with Chubb and Laylay. Also extremely excited for that. Hope the weather holds up.
Don't really have too much to say today. That's what makes summer so wonderful I suppose.
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Thursday, June 25th, 2009
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Got back yesterday from an amazing experience in DC. I was attending the How It Ends lobby days on Capitol Hill to try and get the Lord's Resistance Army Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act passed.
Our first day took place entirely inside the Convention Center where we registered, watched the premiere of The Rescue Rider Documentary, listened to speakers, and were trained how to lobby. The first speaker was Luis Moreno-Ocampo, the Chief Prosecutor for the International Criminal Court at the UN. I was super excited to hear from him. When he walked up on stage, the audience gave him a standing ovation. It was one of the many breath-taking moments that week. Throughout the day I heard from many other talented and inspiring leaders.
On the second day, we received personalized schedules which organized us by state and then by district. There were 1700 of us registered, representing 46 states. There were about 40 total from NJ, and three other people from my district. Myself, being from Pequannock, a girl from Rockaway, a girl from Kinnelon, and a boy from Randolph. Our first meeting of the day was in the Senate building. NJ was to meet with a representative for both Senator Lautenberg and Senator Menendez. Since all 40 of us couldn't fit in a conference room, we decided that half of us would attend Lautenberg's meeting, and the other half would meet with Menendez. I was in the Lautenberg group. Our meeting could not have gone better. We went around the table and spewed information like we had been practicing for weeks. Most of us had never met before that morning, but we had a perfect flow.
During lobby training, we were told that a personal story is a great tool when addressing an issue. They said that if anyone in our group had actually been to Uganda before, to share an experience. We were fortunate to have a girl who had recently returned from Uganda. This was the story she shared:
Upon arriving to Uganda, she had gotten a bad burn on the back of her leg from a motorcycle. It became very painful and infected, as medical treatment isn't an option in the area. This put a damper on the next week as she had to sit out for many of the events. One night, as the locals were dancing around and having fun, a young Ugandan girl approached her and asked why she was sitting out. She explained that her leg had been burned and it was too painful to stay on her feet. The young girl felt sympathy for her and wished for her good health. As she was talking, the girl from my group noticed that her face and back had been badly burned. She asked how she got her scars. The young Ugandan girl explained that a short time ago her village was invaded by the LRA. They killed her parents in front of her and then rubbed their blood on her face. After that they doused her with paint thinner and set her on fire.
This type of thing is happening every day in Africa. We were there to stop it.
Later in the House building, I and my three other district members met with a rep for congressman Rodney Frelinghuysen. This meeting went well also. He seemed genuinely interested in what we had to say. It had a real personal feel as we sat on the couch in his office discussing how our government should address the situation. Walking back from the office building the four of us couldn't stop talking about what we had done. We were personally asking congress to sign our bill. We were playing a key part in the arrest of Joseph Kony. We were making giant leaps toward ending Africa's longest running war. This was a big deal.
After all the meetings, Invisible Children organized a closing rally and free concert for us at Ellipse Park, outside the White House. We heard from Ugandan IC Director Jolly Okot and several other speakers. My wonderful friend Lydia Natoolo, born and raised in Uganda, made a speech without telling any of us! Haha, it was beautiful. We were treated to Anthony Green, Nada Surf, Aaron Gillespie, and Bryce Avery. As the concert came to a close, they played In The Name of Love, the song we all sang outside Oprah's Studio. All the Rescue Riders ran up to the stage and sang along. It was the perfect end to the perfect event.
As of this morning, we got word that the LRA Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act now has 13 cosponsors in the Senate and 55 in the House! After just two days lobbying in DC, we already got this far. This is huge. It was the largest DC lobbying event in American history for an African issue. Their legal rep tried explaining to us the direction we're going in but I don't know how clear I am on the subject. Perhaps if you've seen the School House Rock episode of how a bill becomes a law, you'll know what I'm talking about. If we get a certain amount of cosponsors, our act becomes a "binding" bill. Once a bill becomes binding, the president has 180 days to act on it, or he's breaking the law. The way things have been going, we're pretty damn close to reaching our goal.
Aside from all the legal jargon, the days I spent in DC were worth it just to see my Rescue Rider family. The week was full of "OMG! How are you?" "What have you been up to?" "I haven't seen you in so long!" When other people at the event wanted to hear about our Rescue Riding experience, we literally refer to one another as family members. Of course the week was full of hilarious antics, inside jokes, and mishaps that were extremely embarrassing at the time. I hope my future is full of experiences like this. To some degree, I actually feel sadness for all who don't get to experience something like this. To be a part of something so much bigger than myself. Something that no person can really define or put in a box. I have a theory, that some people are meant to be extraordinary, and so many of the people I have met through this fit that mold.
I hope you have found my unnecessarily long rant somewhat interesting and more importantly, inspiring. Please know that anyone can do this. I am not an expert. I am not experienced. I am by no means better. I have only found what lights my fire, and what I was meant to do. What ever you choose to do in life; truly do it. Push yourself. Be inspiring. Be great. Be extraordinary.
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I haven't posted anything on here since last summer! I'm actually surprised they didn't delete my account or something. I haven't even been logging on to read everyone else's posts, honestly. I went out for sushi with ying the other day, and she jogged my memory. Maybe I'll start posting on here again. I do miss having that extra release of words. Even if there are a whopping three people that probably read this. I'll see how long I last this time.
School is almost ever. Hallefuckinglujah. I'm so done with high school. Let's not talk about it.
Sunday is my last day at work. I can't wait to leave. Its a good job, and I was very fortunate to have a good experience and make some really great friends. I'm happy to be leaving though. Target is not my life. At least it wont be again until winter break.
I bought a 1.5 terabyte external hardrive today. It was a bit pricey but if I continue to cheap out like I always do, I'm just going to end up with a bunch of small hardrives and spend the same amount of money anyway. I love new gadgets.
I'm really missing my rescue riders today. I can't wait for DC so we can reunite. Its amazing how people you've gone your whole life not knowing can suddenly become such an important part of it.
What do you think? Not bad for the first entry in a year.
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Thursday, July 24th, 2008
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drove home from the shore today. bleh. driving back is always more depressing than driving down.
my dad and I gave blood last week. it was a good experience. I think everyone who is able to should do it. its for such a great cause and theres really nothing to be afraid of.
i made an appointment to visit temple next month. im pretty excited.
a bunch of friends are planning a day trip in august to go and crash at my shore house. that should be oodles of fun. i'm pretty souped.
i've had so much time lately to take really long walks and just think about everything thats going through my mind. I appreciate being able to do that. if i hadn't grown up with my summers on the beach, i dont think i'd be half as sane as i am. spending time alone with your thoughts really helps bring things into perspective. and great friends are always a bonus:)
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Life is bittersweet today. I love life, as always. I have so much to be thankful for. but "its" always at the back of my mind. and will be until someone decides to take a step forward. but whatever. i'm not going to let your mole-people-like tendencies ruin my summer.
chubb and laylay came down the shore this week. ohemgee. I love those girlies. so so much. i'm glad they had a good time. no matter what we do together, its always a good time when we're in each other's company. chatting it up with "sales". talking about our female issues. enjoying a sunset on the bay. and pounding back energy drinks. ok, STASH! and for future reference...Europe is not a country. hahahaha. oh my.
holy shit, there are some super-sized brownie chunks in this chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. the ultimate happiness.
work was fun today. i like when its me and the boys. most of them will be shipping off to the navy and the army while i'm heading out to film school. kind of sad. we had a good laugh at the irony of my chances of getting shot out in the city versus them out on the battle field. haha. funny. but not really funny. lol.
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wow. what a night. I somehow went from having a full schedule, to doing absolutely nothing, and back to a crazy eventful night.
I had planned on going down the shore with my mom but due to some scheduling and driving conflicts that didnt quite work out, i had the house to myself all day and nothing to do. so I visited some friends at work. grabbed dinner. attempted to get gas. all the gas pumps were out of order? really?
then went out for coffee with rin. then joined the gang for a little get together. chaos insued. but things worked out in a wonderfully convenient way. I know it doesn't seem to make sense, but I think I really needed a night like last night. everything turned out alright. and was ten times funnier when we reflected back on it the next morning. hahahahaha. oh man.
tomorro shore trip with lay lay and chubb! I'm excited. I hope the twins find a day to come down. but if not no worries. we still have a lot of summer left:)
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haven't written in here in ages. think im gonna try to keep it up a bit again this summer.
speaking of summer...mines been going pretty grand so far. well...it depends on how you look at it. but my glass is always half full.
in a couple days the fab five is coming to my shore house. well 3/5. probably. either way i'm still pretty souped. its gonna be great times. i love my girls with all my heart:)
I don't know what the fuck is going on with you. but I know I had fun today. your loss.
I'm going to visit more schools soon, and then send for applications. its so surreal thinking about how close college actually is. i'm pretty excited to see what the future has to offer.
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My life is currently in such a state of complexity, I'm not sure I know how to put it into words. Love triangles galore. more of a love hexagon. school is rediculous. I'm so over it. summer is so close I can taste it. child labor laws blow. I need money. gas sucks. but thats nothing new. I have no idea whats going on.
but despite all that, I have never. ever. reached this level of happiness. and I mean that more than you can understand<3
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I have not written an entry for soooooo long. I apologize, my eager readers. so much has happened but theres no way I could possibly squeeze everything into a livejournal essay. i think thats why i havent written actually. once i got back from europe/spring break, i figured there was no possible way I could capture the vacation's events into words so I didnt even bother. then everything after that wasn't worth getting into. so lets just pick up from here, shall we?
I have to finish my part of our history project. I'm procrastinating. no worries guys, I'll get it done.
we have declared friday as an offical junior cut day. 200 students will be on a field trip, and half the teachers will be out too. why bother showing up? I'm in need of a mental health day anyway. ppl are making plans to go out for breakfast and such. I think I may attempt to sleep for 24 hours instead. I am so burnt out. I have not gone to bed early, nor slept in late in a month. definitely not good for the system. i'm looking forward to this weekend's hybernation.
the bulb above the computer is burnt out. its bothering me.
last night I somehow spent hours doing absolutely nothing at willowbrook mall with joe and his friend john. then we went to staples and visited chubb. pretty sure her manager thought we were stalkers. i'm glad joe and chubb finally got to meet and I'm so happy they both approve of each other. he came over before that and my family ADORES him. I did not think it was possible to make that good of a first impression. kudos.
over the weekend me and the girls got dressed up and went out for dinner. i was so souped to actually hang out. I can't believe the amount of time I spent with my friends last year compared to this. we're all just so busy, its rediculous. i love that our friendship is just as strong as it always has been, even though we can't see each other as often.
summer is right around the corner! finally we'll all be able to hang out again. staying up all night. talking and laughing about nothing for hours on end. I love my friends. I miss them dearly. I cannot wait until we get to go down the shore together. this summer is gonna be sick. you all better brace yourselves.
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Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008
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I should be doing schoolwork. I'm procrastinating. What else is new. I have a really bad case of the hiccups right now. what the fuck is that about?
this afternoon was fun. took chubb to work and got to wander staples a bit. then went to target for some shopping and coffee with lili. then went for a little joyride around town to look at enormous houses. it was uber fun. I love having my license. driving to work alone for the first time was the most exhilerating orgasmic experience ever. its a memory i'm going to tell my kids about when they turn 17.
lay lay and I were talking about how none of us get to hang out anymore. mainly because we all work now. dood. we seriously need to make some time. i miss all my friends! i miss when we were more involved in each others lives. not that we're not there for each other now, but we've all been so busy its been hard to keep up with each other. i'm so looking forward to this summer. i can't even explain.
i need spring break in the worst way. i've been stressed out about so many things lately. i love that i'm going to be out of the country without my cell phone to be alone with my thoughts. of course i'll be with kids from my school just about every second of every day, but it will still be a drastic change from suburbia.
yep. still have the hiccups...
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hooray for finally feeling healthy after one bitch of a sinus infection. hooray for turning 17 on tuesday. and hooray for spring break in 5 days!
I passed up on so many plans this weekend. it really sucked actually. but I guess its all for the better. if i had gotten sicker, and had to board a plane on friday with my head about to explode, I never would have forgiven myself.
I really should be doing homework right now. or at the very least studying. but whatevskies. with spring break just a sweet short stretch away, I cannot be expected to focus with such things on my mind. i hate how so much work is crammed into these final few days so teachers can get grades in before we leave. and then quarterlies on top of that.
in news of total adorable things. a little girl that came thru my lane today tore out a page of her coloring book and gave it to me as a present. i would have treasured it forever, had someone not thrown it out.
ok enough procrastinating. off to "study".
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Wednesday, March 26th, 2008
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wow. I just had a revelation. and all because I needed to clear my head. Dr. Phil would be impressed. Spitting out every single emotion you're feeling into a journal all at once really is good for the soul. you should all try it.
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finally went back to school today. well sort of. only took one class due to a field trip to the city. the field trip was tons of fun though. i've been to madame tussauds before but this time we got to sit thru a demo of how they make the wax figures, so it kind of put everything into a new persepective. it makes you appreciate all the effort that goes into it. and I started to actually feel healthy again.
I was really stressed about catching up work but I went around to most of my teachers and I dont think I'll be too far behind. only time will tell however. too bad theres only a few weeks left until grades go in.
the art show at the middle school was tonight. holy shit. my clay table was overtaken by little children. if I had known it was going to be that crazy I would have planned out a better system. most of the kids were very well behaved. except for this one kid. holy shit. he is definitely going to grow up to be some kind of mass murderer.
I'm in a really heated state of mind right now. I hate being angry. it accomplishes nothing. especially when its over stupid little things. its just that tiny little irritating things happen over a period of time and I need to explode in some shape or form. maybe I'm most annoyed at myself. I can't even really tell you what I'm angry about. I'm not making sense. pay no attention to this past paragraph.
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warpedwizzle's journal
thankful.
contemplative.
gloomy.
anxious.
aggravated.